Thursday, January 15, 2009
Miami Vice: Fattest City Falls Off the South Beach Diet.
In the second most ironic news of the day (the top spot being taken by Republicans praising Senator Clinton D-NY for her experience), Miami has been rated the fattest city in the country by Men's Fitness magazine. With hot, sexy, and malnutritioned bodies portrayed on CSI Miami and Girls Gone Wild one would think this a misprint.
The culprit? According to Men's Fitness it was mainly due to long commutes, lengthy T.V. viewing, and prodigious amount of fast food restaurants (almost 3 times the national average.) So what's up Miami? Apparently the city is full of morbidly obese, Whopper snacking, American Idol watching, Escalade driving Shamu's.
What happened to the South Beach Diet? Miamians should start considering popping out fourteen kids like the Mormons do - Salt Lake City is the fittest city on the same scale. In the spirit of brotherhood let's give Miami some motivation to lose weight:
Your city is so fat
...they renamed the football team the Miami Sea Cows.
...that sea levels aren't rising, Florida is sinking.